Forgive me, any readers (probably just my in real life pals; hello!) that have stuck around even though I hardly update this. I’m primarily trying to use this as a writing portfolio, but please indulge me as I take this opportunity to write about a creative inspiration who has passed away.
Welcome to Geek Gear Grading – the first of many bite-sized (or full-sized, I don’t know; I reserve the right for either size of candy) reviews of that geeky product you’ve been wondering about. Can’t decide if that one thing is worth ponying up the dough or not? Me neither! That’s why I’m reviewing it. All opinions, of course, are subjective and my own.
Yes, thank you, you are thinking, but let’s get on with it, shall we?
Let me tell you something.
It gets cold in Michigan. Like, stupid cold. Like, “Lots of people die in this kind of weather, and you might, too, if you don’t get your stupid ass into a heated area or put on more clothes,” cold.
I mean, don’t get me wrong: Michiganders (we are actually all geese; did you know that?) are pros at dealing with and giving the middle finger to cold weather. Shorts still come out, barbecues are had, car windows are down. But that doesn’t stop it from sucking hardcore, especially if you don’t necessarily have some place to go.
It’s on one of these fine (read: cold as hell) winter nights that I’m working a closing shift with my supervisor. This guy, I want you to keep in mind, has just transferred from another store. The chain we work at is a fan of shuffling key holders every so often. So it’s Derek’s first night closing at a new location.
Things are going hunky dory and we’re all set to close on time at 9 pm on the dot. But as anyone who has worked retail knows, right before closing is usually when shit hits the fan.
It is no different tonight.